Spring is Here!!!

Even though it can still get rather cold here... there is hope and growth going on. As I look out over the landscape I see plenty of dead and lifeless trees and bushes, yellow grass, dormant plants. Then as I look closer... yes, there, over there... I see a hint of pink, yellow, purple, red and GREEN!!!! Yeah, in the middle of dead tress a Dogwood tree has bloomed with it's beautiful white and pink flowers. Reminds me of a dandelion sprouting up in the middle of an asphalt parking lot. It seems so out of place but so beautiful and so full of hope. The weather is getting warmer and the sky is sooooooo beautiful with its array of blue hues and white puffy clouds floating across the canvas. The horses are happy they have fresh green grass on the menu these days. I haven't tried the hay, but it doesn't look to be very tasty. There are 2 pregnant mares that should be giving birth in the next month or so and that is WAY exciting.
As I noted in my last entry I have been struggling with some injuries. Not just physical but some emotional ones too. After I got hurt by Jr a week and a half ago, alot of fear came up in me that I would get hurt again. Did I mention that it was INTENSE FEAR. Michelle was out of town and I was caring for the horses by myself. The fear carried over from the horse that hurt me to the horses in that pasture (Scarface and his buddies) to all the horses. I realized that this was not reasonable fear, that something else was going on. Then I made a rookie mistake with one of the horses and she got hurt. I was SOOOOOOO SCARED and by the way, so was the horse. It could have been a lot worse than it was. Kay Driftwood (one of the pregnant mares) did get hurt. Not serious, but non-the-less. (I spent some time in the barn just having a good cry, yes I cried like a girl) It is very overwhelming when the horses get hurt and I was not understanding all that was going on. I was angry at God, the horses, myself, the tress for blooming and any one else that came to mind. By this time I was ready to throw up my hands, walk away from the horses, pack my stuff, move back to California and chock it all up as lost. I cried out to the Lord to rescue me from the INTENSE FEAR, I confessed my need for Him and that I could not and would not do this on my own, I needed Him. One of the things He began to show me was the fear I was feeling was just like the fear I had as a little girl around my Mom. He showed me that I made it then and I will make it now. He also showed me that even with all the adrenalin running through my body that He was protecting me from anxiety/panic attacks, from mental duress that would cause me to be on medication or to be hospitalized, from all the unhealthy responses that I would have overtaken me in the past or I would have embraced. PRAISE THE LORD for HE truly has come to my rescue! I did not run away, which is what I wanted to do. Michelle came back and she has been helping me learn ways to be with the horses and avoid getting hurt. She has helped me get back to a place where I am able to enjoy being around the horses. I still get scared...did today...but it is getting better.
We had our first prayer night for Dogwood ranch last night, I was great and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has offered support to this vision. Please continue to pray for the children.
For those of you that have been requesting pictures, well, I put together this way cool slide show of some of what I see here each day I hope you enjoy it. Yes, I took all the pics-except the ones I'm in.
God Bless, Kat

Time

WOW! I can hardly believe that the week is past me by. This week has been noted by blessings and injury. I AGAIN have been reminded that God is in control of my destiny... I am so thankful to my loving God for His faithful love and grace. Well, the injury stuff comes with the territory of learning how to co-exist with horses that weigh upward of a 1,000 lbs. Then there is contending with the BIG knife cutting up onions and well need I go on?? So far my trip to California is still on hold and my relationship with CA Unemployment will hopefully end in divorce court, soon! I went riding this week and it was really fun. I went to "Horse Fest" and pick up quite a few tips on riding. So, I was able to practice some of those skills and it really helped alot. .
God is good-all the time. Peace out.

Dreams

This is a recent picture of me in a house that Dana and I looked at. Huge beautiful 4 bedroom house with a guest house on 18 acres of land for her parents. Anyway, I don't have any funny stories today. But I have a word of encouragement. Do not lay aside the dreams and desires that God has put into your heart. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Maybe today you can sit down, pray to your God and Savior to bring to your mind a desire that you have put to sleep, write it down and ask God if He wants you to pursue it. Of course you don't have to do this... I'm just saying.

Today I am living a desire of my heart (Gods heart) and I love it. I miss being close to everyone and seeing you all the time. There have been days when I have questioned the wisdom of my being here, but I always come back to "My Father loves me and I am with Him in this place."

I am still having issues with CA Unemployment, I am planning on being in CA for Easter but I will have to see how these things with unemployment play out, I may not be able to come back in April. Psalm 37:4 NIV • Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Laugh at Self

This is a pic of the type of hay bales that we get at the ranch. There is a 7 year old boy standing in front of the bale. I understand the bales can weight 700-900 lbs. Today at the ranch Michelle and I were putting the bales in the barn and also dropping some out on the pastures. The tractor decided to stop working so we were moving the bales into the barn by hand. We both had hay hooks and had put away about 5 of these bales. so needless to say we were getting pretty darn tired. We were on the next one and we needed to turn it about 90 degrees so it would line up with the barn and we could roll it right in. I took my hook and jabbed into the side of the bale, Michelle counted to three and we both threw our weight in to turning the bale. My hook broke free from the bale - so instead of throwing my weight into the bale, I literally threw myself to the ground... LOL - LOL - LOL!! Michelle counting to three threw her weight into moving the bale but the bale did not move and she noticed a blur over her shoulder and turned her head towards me only to see me rolling over in the dirt. We both laughed so hard that we almost peed our pants. Life on the ranch!!! :):):) Oh Yeah did I mention that Michelle tried to run me over with the tractor before it broke, I'm sure I will have tire track bruises on my leg. I'm pretty sure that we would win the $ on Americas Funniest Videos. I will take a pic of the actual hay bales tomorrow and swap out the photo but I just had to post the story. SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FFFUUUUNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY!

Randon Kindness

What a wonderful feeling that family, friends and strangers can bring to our heart, when we engage with others. What an even bigger joy it brings my Fathers heart when we come to His table and engage with Him. When we love others we are loving the Father. Did you do a random act of kindness today? Did you think about it? Did you come up with something but talk yourself out if it? Did you worry about what others MIGHT think about you? Were you afraid that you MIGHT look silly? MIGHT be REJECTED? Often times these are the very fears that run through my heart and stop me from loving others well or just loving them in general. Even in love, I can get caught up in myself, my fears and the whole "WHAT ABOUT ME" thing. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one who has this problem... oops here I go again... it's all about me!!!!
Where would I/we be had Jesus said, "Sorry no can do, can't die on the cross today." "What will people think of me." "What if they still reject me, I just can't risk that." I did do a random act of kindness for a stranger today. Not to blow my horn, but just to say... I hope this person understood that today someone cared about her. So many people go through each day and don't know that they are loved and appreciated. There is always time to love and help others. Make it a part of your everyday life! It's a part of Jesus' everyday life.

Taking Time

Dana and I went out to feed the horses and when we were leaving Chele and 8 of her friends pulled up to the ranch. We got to hang out with these kids and the horses. It was fun to watch the kids (teenagers) with the horses. A couple were really into it, a couple were ok with it and a couple were not into the horses at all. A couple of the kids smoked, there were piercing and maybe even a couple of tats. These are kids that didn't seem to be running with the mainstream... they are just trying to get through the day. Mostly it was interesting to watch the kids respond to the horses, to see there fear and concern for a situation that they were not in control of. We went back to Dana's place and had pizza with the kids and again to was interesting to watch their response to the love and acceptance they received. A few of the kids wanted to move in on the spot. The Lord spoke to me in so many ways today watching these kids (and through the message a church). To live in the economy of God is to die to self in all ways of this world. To put aside my desires for His desires, to seek after what He wants for me and not what I want for myself, and above all-love others. There are so many hurting people in our area of influence that WE can not afford to be so wrapped up in ourselves that we can not see what God has put before us, into us and what He can do through us. Recently here in MO there was a raid on an unlicensed kennel. There were a couple hundred dogs that were taken from this home. These dogs were in a sad state of affairs. Dirty, matted, hungry and neglected. Those responsible for the dogs made it possible to go on line and fill out a request to adopt these dogs. After a week or so, they shut down the online process because there were over 15,000 requests for these dogs. I think that is great that people wanted to help... It is our responsibly to reach out to broken hurting people in such a way, even the dirty, matted, hungry and neglected. Do something today - a random act of kindness that shows love to someone else expecting nothing in return.

My prayer is really spoken well through the song... Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGr8as7pPBE

Crossing the River

This is a great bridge that crosses over the Finely River. The first time I saw this bridge I sorta fell in love with it. It was covered in snow and I was suddenly in a 1950's love story where the couple met on the bridge and proclaim their undying love for each other...

Today I had a call from the Unemployment office. I have not received any benefits since Feb 5th. They will take into consideration the information I gave them today regarding my move and see if I still qualify for benefits. I won't know for another 7 to 10 business days. Please pray that I remain in Gods economy and not worry about the worlds economy. That I remain true to His call on my life and no try to take control.
Psalms 50:15 says: Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.
I pray to be rescued by my God and Savior from fear and worry by calling on His name and praising what Him for the life I have today.

Making Friends

This is a couple (picture) that we met on the way to the ranch. The Bison is "Biff" and the cow is "Buffy". I know, I had the same reaction... but I thought, what the heck it's good to have all kinds of friends. So everyone please welcome Biff and Buffy to the family.

One of the items that you really want to have on the ranch is a pair of gloves that meet the demands of the work. Well, I needed a pair of gloves that are good when the weather is warmer. So I picked up a pair today that do not have a linning. They fit well and surely will meet my needs. Problem occurred when I took them off and my hands are a orangie yellow. Yes, I tried washing...several times... and the dye did not wash off. How many times have I said, "There is a price to pay for everything."

The weather is very warm for this time of year, 73 today and even warmer tomorrow. It really is amazing to be working outside, getting my hands dirty (or orange) and connecting with God through nature. Today is a day that the Lord made and I rejoiced in it!

The Reality

This is JR, he is a very playful young stud. He will take your hat and run away with it, steal your bottle of water out of your back pocket and eat your camera case if your not careful. He is one of the 31 horses that live on the ranch.

I have been here in Mo for 45 days and I have fallen 3 times, been head butted by various horses to many times to count, stepped on, bit, pushed around, homesick, sad, heartbroken, in tears, happy, laughed till i darned near peed my pants, amazed, awed and changed by the love of Jesus and these horses. Some days I am the teacher but mostly I am the student.

I have thought, whats so hard about feeding and watering these horses everyday... no biggie. Well, for any of you that have pets... I have 31 pets. Out of the 31 I have come to care about all of them and attached to a few of them. (Please do not tell Scarface that I posted Jr's pic and not his) The horses live on/in the pasture, they do not live in barns. They are out running around an getting into things that they have no business getting into. No matter how well you take care of them-like kids-they find stuff to get into. Sometimes being so cute and playful but sometimes getting hurt a little or alot hurt. One of the pregnant mares miscarried since I've been here. Very sad day! On my own, Yesterday I would have packed up and moved back to Calif, but thank you Jesus that I do not have to do life on my own, that you are here guiding and teaching me what I need as I am in this new season. Psalms 16 has been a comfort to me over the last week.

Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge. I said to the Lord, “You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you.” The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them! Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods. I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood or even speak the names of their gods. Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. The land you have given me is a pleasant land. What a wonderful inheritance! I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

In Christ, Kat

Communicating

WOW! Who knew that figuring out a way to communicate via the web would be such a HUGE decision? My Space, Face book, Faith Out, Blogging Websites... calgon take me away. So, I have a friend that uses this site for blogging and there are photos and stuff, I like that way it looks and you don't have to ask to see or read... decision made.