Spring is Here!!!

Even though it can still get rather cold here... there is hope and growth going on. As I look out over the landscape I see plenty of dead and lifeless trees and bushes, yellow grass, dormant plants. Then as I look closer... yes, there, over there... I see a hint of pink, yellow, purple, red and GREEN!!!! Yeah, in the middle of dead tress a Dogwood tree has bloomed with it's beautiful white and pink flowers. Reminds me of a dandelion sprouting up in the middle of an asphalt parking lot. It seems so out of place but so beautiful and so full of hope. The weather is getting warmer and the sky is sooooooo beautiful with its array of blue hues and white puffy clouds floating across the canvas. The horses are happy they have fresh green grass on the menu these days. I haven't tried the hay, but it doesn't look to be very tasty. There are 2 pregnant mares that should be giving birth in the next month or so and that is WAY exciting.
As I noted in my last entry I have been struggling with some injuries. Not just physical but some emotional ones too. After I got hurt by Jr a week and a half ago, alot of fear came up in me that I would get hurt again. Did I mention that it was INTENSE FEAR. Michelle was out of town and I was caring for the horses by myself. The fear carried over from the horse that hurt me to the horses in that pasture (Scarface and his buddies) to all the horses. I realized that this was not reasonable fear, that something else was going on. Then I made a rookie mistake with one of the horses and she got hurt. I was SOOOOOOO SCARED and by the way, so was the horse. It could have been a lot worse than it was. Kay Driftwood (one of the pregnant mares) did get hurt. Not serious, but non-the-less. (I spent some time in the barn just having a good cry, yes I cried like a girl) It is very overwhelming when the horses get hurt and I was not understanding all that was going on. I was angry at God, the horses, myself, the tress for blooming and any one else that came to mind. By this time I was ready to throw up my hands, walk away from the horses, pack my stuff, move back to California and chock it all up as lost. I cried out to the Lord to rescue me from the INTENSE FEAR, I confessed my need for Him and that I could not and would not do this on my own, I needed Him. One of the things He began to show me was the fear I was feeling was just like the fear I had as a little girl around my Mom. He showed me that I made it then and I will make it now. He also showed me that even with all the adrenalin running through my body that He was protecting me from anxiety/panic attacks, from mental duress that would cause me to be on medication or to be hospitalized, from all the unhealthy responses that I would have overtaken me in the past or I would have embraced. PRAISE THE LORD for HE truly has come to my rescue! I did not run away, which is what I wanted to do. Michelle came back and she has been helping me learn ways to be with the horses and avoid getting hurt. She has helped me get back to a place where I am able to enjoy being around the horses. I still get scared...did today...but it is getting better.
We had our first prayer night for Dogwood ranch last night, I was great and I just want to say thank you to everyone who has offered support to this vision. Please continue to pray for the children.
For those of you that have been requesting pictures, well, I put together this way cool slide show of some of what I see here each day I hope you enjoy it. Yes, I took all the pics-except the ones I'm in.
God Bless, Kat